We started off collecting children.  It was not a hobby we necessarily pursued with enthusiasm, but up until the time we figured out what caused them, we collected five of them.  We stopped collecting when we found out that they eat a lot when they get to be teenagers.  Children are a high-maintenance collection.

One day, twenty years ago, I walked into a novelty store and became enchanted with a music box that played “Memories”.  I made that one purchase.  For five years after that purchase, I received another music box for every Mother’s Day, Anniversary, Birthday and Christmas.  They were pretty little dust-magnets, but my children always wanted to play with them.  That sounds sweet, but unfortunately, they didn’t want to play them one at a time.  My children must be tone-deaf, because, for some reason, the cacophony that they heard when all of those music boxes were turned on at once, didn’t seem to disturb them one iota.  I, however, had a headache the size of Texas when they were done.

It might have sounded good if every music box at least played the same song, but I had a “Lara’s Theme”;  a few played “Some Enchanted Evening”; “Speak Softly Love” was played, but not softly; the inspirational “Amazing Grace” was certainly amazing; and I don’t want to remember how many “Memories” were intertwined with the others.  It was teeth-grindingly awful.

I started collecting tea sets because I wanted everyone to stop giving me music boxes.  Tea sets don’t make noise.  They were blissfully silent.  They also attract dust faster than you can say “one lump or two?”  I also ran out of shelf space for them fairly quickly.  So I started requesting mini tea sets. 

Since my family has a stunning lack of imagination when it comes to gift giving, I’ve always had some kind of collection so that they would know what to get me for the various holidays during the year.  Otherwise, they would get me a dish towel with my name embroidered on it or perhaps a really expensive potato peeler.

Don’t get me wrong, I really like my tea sets, but I’ve run out of room.  Besides, my mother kept buying me tea sets that came out of the toy section at Walmart.  It was still a gift, and it was from my mom, so I had to display them with my china tea sets in a glass cabinet, even if Winnie the Pooh isn’t normally found in a china cabinet.  I tell everyone that they are the ones that I collected in my childhood.  That gave the Walmart tea sets the required value they needed to be displayed in my china cabinet.

I am currently in a butterfly phase.  I love butterflies, so they are represented in almost everything I own.  My family knows that if it has a butterfly on it, it qualifies as a decent gift for me.  Even a potato peeler is good if it has a butterfly on it. 

When my daughter draws me pictures, she puts at least one butterfly on each one, even if doesn’t belong there.  I have learned that the more butterflies appear in her drawings, the higher my parental ratings are that day.  She once drew me a picture of the planets in outer space.  Between Mercury and Pluto (which hadn’t lost it’s planet status yet) flew a veritable army of butterflies.  She really loved me that day.

Laura Snyder

You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more columns and info about her new book.